The emotional let down has set in.  I didn’t even realize just how intense the past few days have been.  Human nature is a strange thing sometimes, survival mode sets in, and we become stronger than we think possible.  During the events of the past few days, I was just doing what I needed to.  If they would have told me to hang by my toes, I would have done it.  There was only one moment during it all, that I felt like maybe I couldn’t handle it.  The drugs they gave me made me extremely hot and relaxed, but then they gave me another drug that made my mind race.  When all this was on board, then they hung a medication that had been refrigerated which began making me shake with chills.  Of course this was in the middle of the night, when everyone should be asleep, but somehow sleep had escaped me.  Tied down in the bed with numerous cords and contraptions, I tossed and turned desperate to find a moment of rest.  My mom noticed my distress, and came to my side and asked to help.  I was hot, yet I was freezing; I was exhausted, yet my mind was racing; I was restless, yet I was bedridden.  I was at a loss as to what I needed.  I told my mom, just pray.  And pray she did.  Within moments, I felt my body relax and my mind put to ease.  I may have only rested for a few minutes after that, but in that moment that is what I needed-God’s peace that surpassed all understanding.  It’s a reminder to me that often we look to circumstances and logic to solve the problem, when really the best answer peacefully awaits us.

So my planned worked!  Yesterday the doctor that was on-call said she wouldn’t let me go home until Monday.  Everything was going so well.  I didn’t have any more bleeding or contractions.  They had discontinues everything and were basically just watching me (which I have people to do that at home).  So I woke up this morning and decided to get dressed and put make up on,  hoping that the doctor would think that I looked way too good to be in the hospital. When she came in, my mom and I were playing cards, and she said, “you look great! I’m tempted to let you go home today!”  She basically left the decision up to me, which of course I said-”let me go home.”  So today at 1:00, we were discharged from the hospital.  Before we left Kyle and I got to take a tour of the NICU and see babies smaller and the same size as our little one. I think it was a good preparation to just see where our little girl might have to spend the first few days of her life.

We are still praying for more time.  Our first goal is to make it to 34 weeks, which is July 11.  After that we will definitely breath a sigh of relief, but then any day after that will be an added blessing. If all goes well, we will go to the hospital on July 26th for our scheduled c-section.  Now onto learning to living horizontally and learning to ask for help.  Both of which will be challenging for me, but through all of this I know God is teaching me way more than I even realize.