Well today I had a doctor’s appointment, and you would have thought somebody was taking me to Disney! It was so nice to just get out and walk around a bit, and actually interact with the world. For the past week, the world has had to come to me. And let’s be honest, you just can’t bottle up fresh air on a sunny summer’s day! Afterwards I talked my mom into taking me to Starbucks-which was another treat that I haven’t indulged in for a while! Then we had to have the house we are staying in photographed, so we packed up the dogs and went to my parents house for the afternoon. How sweet it is to get to sit on my mom’s back porch and just enjoy the day. If you know my mom at all, then you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. If you don’t know her, then I hope someday you get to enjoy the porch at the end of the cul-de-sac where my mom creates an oasis. Needless to say, it’s been a great day. A change of scenery was the perfect boost.
So 3 weeks from today is the BIG day! July 26th is Savannah’s scheduled birthday. We will see if she is a girl who likes a plan, or likes to make her own :) The reality is setting in, we are going to have a baby! After wanting one for over 5 years and losing 2 babies, it is a reality that is hard to grasp. I’m sure for every new mom it is a strange reality that words can’t quite describe. But for me, it seems that much more surreal. I am truly in awe that God would give to me my greatest desire, that He would entrust to me the most beautiful gift of life! Will I be found trustworthy? Can I even begin to appreciate this gift enough? I am humbled by God’s creation and willingness to share it with me. I have to admit that one of the lies of infertility that I bought into was that I wasn’t good enough to be a mom. I know that it was a lie, but there was still this feeling that there must be something wrong with me. We never had any concrete answers as to why we couldn’t get pregnant or for that fact, stay pregnant. It was my effort to understand or make sense of it all. But sometimes it just doesn’t make sense!
And now here I sit, feeling somewhat unworthy and somewhat ill-prepared about to receive the most precious gift, a child, Savannah Grace. And it is only by God’s grace. His unmerited favor. Through it all His grace has been sufficient, and through it all…it will be.
Hi! My name is Kristy and this is my outlet to share thoughts on motherhood, infertility and life as I know it. To give you some insight into me, I've been married for over eight years to 
What! You’re the best mom I know!
Can Savannah come out and play yet?
I echo Kyle…..what??!! You are going to be an amazing mother!! The best around. We had spoken a long time ago, when all of this just began, that you knew God would bring a challenge into your life that would really test you. We were talking about how easy our lives had been up to that point, and that our faith had never really been tested. And look at us now. I have a big hole in my head that doesn’t have a tumor in it anymore, and you have a beautiful baby girl, that will be forever changing your sleeping habits in just a couple of weeks. Although, I think that you should change her birthday to July 22. Her lungs our developed, she’s good to go!! JK. God’s grace is amazingly sufficient, and I will forever be humbled by what He’s done for me, as you are. I can’t wait to have another neice. I have waaaayyyy too many newphews!!
Kristy,
The mere fact that you are worried about being good enough shows that you WILL be more than enough.
You are an awesome person and a great woman of God. Don’t you worry about a thing girl! God is good and he has prepared in you a mother’s heart that will shine through when your with Miss Savannah. Of that I am sure…
Love you.
Kristy,
You are feeling what every new mom feels. Why should we be trusted, because that’s the way God designed it! He desires his princesses to feel a kind of love that can’t be descibed, i think to help give us a clue on His love. You are going to do awsome, you already have! Just wait and things will come to you. Remember to ask the Lord about things. You’d be suprised and what the world says is okay, the Lord has the best plans and loves to share them with us. I’m so excited for you, you are ready don’t worry, so is your husband. There will always be things that stump you as a parent, i think that’s just to keep us relying on God. It sounds like you are just where you need to be someday i would like to join you on the porch! Be Blessed:)
Sweet child of mine. You are more than ready…More than qualified.For as long as I can remember you have been nurturing,tending and making our world sweeter. Savannah is blessed beyond description to have you as her Mom. I am blessed beyond description to BE your mom. All of this will make more sense in a few days. When you look into her face….we’ll talk more about this on the porch.
You were made to be mom and I can’t wait to see you in that role for myself! I’m so glad you were able to get out in the fresh air! Also, I want to see the pics for your house when they get posted JJ said I would love it!